In this initial stage of Divorce, your marriage is in question and you’re facing the dilemma of contacting an attorney and moving forward, or holding off. You may be thinking of filing for divorce but are unsure if it’s the right decision because of your children, or for other reasons. Maybe you don’t want the divorce but your spouse does, and you were served with divorce papers. Or you and your spouse might be in agreement that the marriage is just no longer working.
You must recognize that your divorce is a journey. Your journey is not going to be the same as your relative’s or best friend’s journey. You and your spouse didn’t fall in love in a day and you’re not going to get divorced in one either. A divorce is a long process, along the way you’re going to be dealing with a lot of different feelings and emotions.
When someone else is controlling the start of your divorce journey, it can be very surprising and upsetting. Your spouse has decided to file for divorce, and you’re caught off guard. First, you need to stop and figure out why this has happened and how you are going to move forward. Don’t dwell so much on the “he started this first” or “she started this first” problems. Your journey has started, and you need to get on board.
When you are going through divorce, your children will also come along with you on the journey. The children are the most important thing in your life, so what are the considerations? The first is custody; custody during the pendency of your divorce and custody after. You and your spouse need to think long and hard to determine what best fits your children’s needs. Your end goal is to determine what is going to work best for the kids. The kids didn’t ask to join you on this journey, so you must try to make it as painless for them as you can.
When you are ready to navigate your divorce journey, it is important that you choose a divorce lawyer that you connect with. You need to know that your divorce lawyer is listening to you, and they’re offering you creative solutions. Your divorce lawyer is integral to your journey and you must be sure that you are selecting the right person to help you through the process.
When it comes to a divorce, you have to own the process. Remember that this is your divorce, not your lawyers. What is the goal of your divorce? What are you willing to negotiate, and what is a deal breaker for you? How are you communicating with your attorney? How often are you going to speak? Are you going to do everything in person, or are you doing this by phone or email? These are things that you and your spouse should consider when choosing your lawyers.